August 3rd Colorado Trail

August 3rd

We awoke at 0400 as planned. I heard the pop and the air whooshing out of Jodie’s sleeping pad. I immediately pulled my plug too. No snooze alarm today! It started raining as we were getting ready, “maybe we shoulder sit in our tents for a bit”? Jodie said “really?” or something like that. Ok, I said “let’s do this!”

We’re getting to be pros at this! I set my pack outside, ready to go, with the rainfly on and stepped out of my tent dressed in my raingear after finishing a coffee and a bar. We helped eachother shake the rain out of our tents, stuffed them and loaded them on our packs and set off in the dark with our headlamps on. We could see the full moon through the trees. It had stopped raining. Everything was fresh with rain. The horizon was showing signs of morning. We almost fully watched the sunrise but then the trail turned a corner and headed a different direction. The morning was beautiful. 4 am was a perfect time to get up. We stopped for long breaks. Stretched and had hot meals. A remote fire station offers use of a water spigot for hikers. It turned into a little social hub of hikers meeting each other, where we from, what’s our hiking plan, etc. We’re leap frogging a few people. It’s fun to recognize them on the trail and say hi! 

We’re camping tonight buy a little creek and popular water source. There are 6 other people tonight. Most everyone plans to get up early, thankfully. We are all out here for the hike! It’s so cool!!!

Someone asked me “WHY???” today. I thought maybe that’s something to dig into and share.

I’ve been wanting to hike more for years and been failing at being a better day hiker. Life is always getting in the way. I’ve wanted for years to take my family back to trails I built when I was 20, we never made it. I spent 6 years training goats for backpacking and when I finally took them on their first big adventure (section K of the PCT in 2020) they were so wimpy. But I learned about myself that I’m strong enough without them! I’ve been wanting to hike so badly that when Jay asked me what I wanted for my 50th birthday, I said I wanted to hike 50 miles!! He said ok and walked every step with me and didn’t complain. I was so grateful! Jay doesn’t love hiking like I do and I’ve been wanting a girlfriend to adventure with, then Jodie appeared in my life. It’s been so great to have a friend like minded for big adventure!! We make a great team and look out for each other. We’re so blessed! 

There’s so much than that! I’ve fought so hard for my health and battling depression. I was over weight, fatigued and had chronic pain. I was unmotivated and negative. Wanting to change Jay and started exercising, we quit smoking. I quit drinking. We lost weight. We exercised more. We found black mold in our house and dealt with that. I starting learning about the causes of many of GI problems and food sensitivities that were worsening. I started healing my thyroid, my liver, my gut health. I feel better. I’m happier. But I still get stuck and I’m still not at my best. I want more. I want to be strong, be challenged. 

I’m learning about myself that I love the daily hiking, the complete submission. I don’t sit still very. Easily get anxious if I’m not moving or doing something. I try to practice sitting, but I’m not very good at it. I bought a coloring book and pencils for our anniversary trip so that I would sit still longer. It helped. I’m finding that the long hiking days brings more stillness internally.

I’m learning more about neurplasticity and healing our brain. Living in the moment. Experiencing the sights, smells, sounds and physical presence of the moment I’m in. Slowing my brain down, calming my sympathetic system. Trying to enjoy every footstep. 

I feel safe and at home in the woods. My stress calms down. 

Going for a day hike is not the same as a through hike. For me day hiking is still so controlled by the clock and life restrictions and responsibilities. 

The world feels controlled by time. We’re aways in crunch for time. Limited, looming time.

Through hiking there’s a distance far off goal. All I have to do today is take care of myself and hike. Am I strong enough? Do I have what it takes? What will I see, hear and feel tomorrow? I try to take pictures to share, but I can’t share what I’m experiencing. I give you a glimpse, but it’s nothing close to being here. This is a purely selfish and an amazing adventure! I’ve fought with my guilt to be here. I’m hear with my husband’s blessing. I’m so grateful!